Transgender Day of Remembrance – Accuracy for the Cause

Transgender Day of Remembrance

First, I am appalled with Hate Crimes of any kind. In 2005, homicide victimization rates for blacks were 6 times higher than the rates for whites. The homeless population is one of the most victimized target populations for hate crimes in America; with 75% of all perpetrators are under the age of 25!

This post is from Allyson Robinson, HRC’s associate director of diversity. “Today marks the 11th annual Transgender Day of Remembrance.  What started in 1999 as a vigil held by friends for one woman – Rita Hester, a transgender woman whose murder remains unsolved to this day – has become an international observance with events taking place in over a dozen countries.  The Transgender Day of Remembrance has helped make visible the thousands of transgender people and their loved ones that hate has tried so violently to erase.  In the last 12 months alone, over 90 transgender people have lost their lives to prejudice and hate.” – NOTE – This was the text pulled directly from the HRC site on November 20, 2009…

Todays text on the HRC page - November 21, 2009

“Personal message from Allyson Robinson, HRC’s Associate Director of Diversity

We in the transgender community hold Day of Remembrance events each November to honor Rita Hester, whose murder on November 28th, 1998 remains unsolved, and the hundreds who have lost their lives since then. According to the Day of Remembrance’s organizers, this year 13 Americans lost their lives because of someone’s hatred for their gender identity.”

Thank you HRC for the change to more creditable text today.

A 2009 visible list of those murdered in the world for transgender reasons.

The following was based on the previous number that I had with HRC’s estimate of 90 people. The estimate of 90 people coupled with the 1 in 12 are murdered is what caused me to write this article.

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There is just cause to mourn our losses and draw attention to our cause. We do not want more, we just want fairness and what everyone else gains simply by being their birth gender.

So what does it really mean? What does 90 people in 1 year mean to us as a population in comparison to the entire population. Well, I am a technical writer and I like accurate information, so I will offer as many real statics as possible, and label the suspect numbers.

To the transgender community – and my friends, it is still significant to note that we are twice as likely to get murdered as the general population.

The Current Numbers:

The number of Transsexual individuals in our population varies by who generates the numbers - but it is estimated to be some 0.25% - 1% of the population. I tend to go with the former, .25%. I have not seem any personal indicators that the numbers are any higher than 1 in 400, even in a ‘hotspot’ area like Seattle (where I am). A ratio of 1 in 100 (1%) would make transsexual individuals twice as common the entire Native American population OR about 1/4 as many people of Asian decent in the United States – I will stand by the comment that 1% seems very optimistic. The current US population is 307,973,000 as of 2009.

Of those 308 million people, at .25%, some three-quarters of a million would be transsexual across the United States.

The 2007 U.S. homicide rate was 5.9 per 100,000 people, up only .4 (8%) in 7 years. The total U.S. population in 2007 was 302.2 million. That calculates out to about 17,830 homicides for the year, or 49 per day.

Predictions for 2009 are about the same ratio, making it about 50/51 people per day who will be murdered.

About 1 in every 200 murders are transsexual individuals. Making transsexual individuals about twice as likely to get murdered over the general population with a population ratio of 1 in 400.

The HRC and others following them have tried to sku the statistics – but the writer of the article skued things in a way that explains few elements of their research and how they mixed them although their notation shows the source. If this all seems confusing, read on…

HRC Published Statistics:

Still maintained by HRC - HRC’s article on Transgender and Hate Crimes

“Hate violence.  Transgender people are often targeted for hate violence based on their non-conformity with gender norms and/or their perceived sexual orientation. Hate crimes against transgender people tend to be particularly violent. For example, one expert estimates that transgender individuals living in America today have a one in 12 chance of being murdered. [1] In contrast, the average person has about a one in 18,000 chance of being murdered. [2]

In 2002, community activists commemorated the lives of 27 murdered transgender people in that year. [3]“

1. Kay Brown, instructor for “20th Century Transgender History and Experience” at the Harvey Milk Institute in San Francisco, Washington Blade, Dec. 10, 1999.

Kay Brown’s statistic was referring to 1 in 12 transsexuals were likely to be murdered in their life – and that stat was pulled from a mistaken belief in what the population was of the transgender community. 1 in 12 compared as though it were a 1 year number would mean that the entire population of TG’s would be 144 persons. There is question about lifespan and the years as transgendered. Honestly, there is just not enough real data to back this up.

2. Based on the FBI’s “Uniform Crimes Reports, Crime in the United States 2000,” showing the murder rate of 5.5 people per 100,000.

Likely Accurate – and that also includes the transgender population as well as those murdered who were transgender – you must pull the numbers out to see them. This again appears to be over a lifetime – without an explanation of what figures were used to calculate that number of 1 in 18,000. The 5.5 per 100,000 is accurate. Which should mean that 5.5 per 100,000 Transfolks are also murdered – with my conservative estimate of 3/4 million, that should indicate only 41.25 would be killed in a year.

3. Daily Lobo, University of New Mexico, Nov. 21, 2002.

Likely Accurate – Though taking the 27 murdered in 2002 and comparing them to those murdered in 2008/09 (90) is the most alarming statistic, almost triple the national average of transgender murders.

TWICE AS LIKELY – Three times as many:

What we need is accurate, honest, trusted information to forward our cause. The real numbers are still scary.

HRC, please stop publishing information that can be used against the Transgender community. The reality of the statistics is bad enough. A transgendered individual is twice as likely – that’s 100% more likely – to be murdered than their non-transgender counterpart in the same population.

And there has been a triple increase in the number of transgender people murdered in just 6 years.

And what happens if we just change the one, really unknown variable? What happens if we say that .5% of the population is transgender instead of the conservative .25%? Then we are murdered at the same rate as the body of the population.

One of the best collections of honest transgender information is here

POST NOTE: The correction to 13 people murdered this year from 90 would indicate that if the murder rate remained the same for the transsexual population as it is for the entire population – then there are some .25 million transsexuals in the US. The stunning truth is that those 13 were killed because of HATE CRIME.

Sarah

Losses – Coming Out as TransGender

Kind of an odd day… and I have been reflecting on this for some time now, here it is coming all together. I have avoided personal writing, for my own reasons – I have also satisfied my urges for personal writing by keeping them as drafts, here. This is article is a bit more personal.

Today is Remembrance Day. Have you forgotten what that is – or are you reflecting on it as an American, wondering what it really means?

In Flanders Fields

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Armistice Day is observed on 11 November to recall the end of World War I on that date in 1918 (major hostilities of World War I were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 with the German signing of the Armistice). The day was specifically dedicated by King George V, on 7 November 1919, to the observance of members of the armed forces who were killed during war.

Oddly enough, I found myself playing Call of Duty, Modern Warfare 2, today. I reflected on what it means for people to lose others. We have losses nearly every day, a Policeman was killed in Seattle, some die in a plane crash, another with swine flu – many in vehicle accidents; the highest killer of all people under 25.

I had buried all my grandparents by 18 (carried the caskets of 3 of them). My father and biological mother (I cast her ashes in the Cromarty Firth in Scotland on a sunny November day) are both dead. All that is left for me of immediate older family is my mother who no longer remembers who I am or anything of my childhood – she was the last to know the child who was David (I think that is the first time I have ever mentioned that name!). I left my country, left behind friends and family more than 20 years ago now. Ad to that the experience I have had as a Wilderness E.M.T. and I think I know something about loss.

I lived with my father for nearly a year, back in Canada, as he wound down and died of cancer. I held his hand, with me crying when he died – and took out my stethoscope to hear his last rasping breaths and weak heartbeat cease.

Losses. “Becoming” (if that is what this is – but it is how others see it) transgender, incurs losses.

I came out first, publically, in March of 2007. I thought that I would start to come out publically after I had resumed the hormone treatments in Feb 2007 and had started body hair removal in Dec 2006. Physical changes and personal encouragement brought me ‘out’.

Before I tell you any stories – here is the data I offer… Of all the people (family, friends, coworkers), who knew / know you, that you tell when ‘coming out’, here are the results I observed:

50% will disappear, fading over a little time (or not) and they will drop right off the radar

Of the remaining 50%:

75% will react based on beliefs, judgment and experiences that you never knew they had, and the relationship will be changed significantly from what it was. Sometimes this is for the better.

25% will remain and they will accept you pretty much as you are.

What that means is that about 1 in 8 will still see you as they nearly always saw you. Then 3 in 8 will treat you differently and may hold some concept of who you are – they may also hold judgment and bias that will manifest itself in weird ways. Those other remaining 4 in 8 – they will drop you right away, or disappear quickly, being unable to come to terms with their loss of you as a person in their life.

Now the stories – first the positive, then some losses.

G: He was – and still is – my best friend. He knew that I had been on hormones back in my late 20’s. We had traveled together, camped, skinny dipped together. I told him about the hormones and breasts 6 years ago – and he had seen them when swimming with me. When he was first told about me transitioning, he reacted like I was kidding – like I was trying to say I was going to start cross dressing. It has taken over 2 years for him to refer to me as Sarah to others, he still calls me David to my face (and that is ok). He still struggles a bit with me as female – mostly because he thought that I would become another person. I think he thought that I would become a woman who knew nothing of what I had in my head and who never saw what my eyes have seen. He now seems to understand that we can still talk and play with Land Rovers. He is in the 1 in 8.

C: Thank God, I am working with / for and incredible women who is my direct supervisor with the company I work for and a person I am glad to call friend. She never batted an eye (although she does stare at my chest sometimes). She is the only person I interact on a daily basis with that I can make gender comments to. Like when we were in Safeway and I said “If I give to breast cancer I also have to give to prostate cancer – I can get both!”. She is always about the performance of the individual, not the gender – and she is quick to point out that the ‘innies’ get a harder shake of it. I remember when I told her (I then sent her this blog)… she said, so are you like a cross dresser on the weekend? Standing there, wearing a womans jacket, I took it off and said “I am wearing all women’s clothing, and have been – have you not noticed the make-up and everything else”? I have 7 ear piercings, long hair and breasts… yet, she met me as David and still sees me as ‘him’. C has never ‘betrayed’ me, never slighted me with a careless comment. The relationship is what I wanted – unchanged. I do not want to be Sarah to her.

N: He is in the 3 of 8 category. N is a great friend, who became a better friend after I told him. It did change one thing – he still, no matter how much I explain it to him, wants to see me “in drag”. What that means, is that he wants me to look like some kind of performance drag queen! Sorry N. He is nice though (and he is gay) and has treated me great as a woman when we go out – he is the one guy I like going out to dinner with. His Thanksgiving dinners are as the family that I do not have.

The other 50% – who dropped off

J: G told J before I could talk to him. Now he has been a great friend, what else can you call a person who will help you drywall and insulate in your garage, live on your boat (and help pay for it), help you through a divorce?… the list goes on. I never got another email from him. I have seen him on three occasions in the past 2+ years at social Land Rover events and he treats me like I have an infection, that is contagious, in a cloud 20′ around me. WTF? 

J is the most glaring example of the 50% that fall off, but he is joined by

L: Who I at one time considered a soul mate and more, was the daughter of lesbians and feigned understanding and support until the truth caught her up – the lie that she held. L suffered from the Peter Syndrome – in private, she was all about support, but in public and with people she knew (in any way), I found that she did not even mention our relationship, living with me or who I was. In the end, even with her here, I found that she would introduce me as a friend, David, while loving Sarah. L denied knowing me publically.

A: She is really in the 25%, but there was a wake of losses that my closest confidant, friend, lover and so much more affected because she was more than willing to share ‘who I was’. She told old coworkers and other acquaintances. She also told her conservative family before she had even worked out what was really happening – let alone how to talk about it. Not once was I there to share my truth. The mother of A was also able to fake support and understanding, for a short time, until I found out that she had portrayed me as a freak to all she knew (and she is the matriarch of the extended family) and her daughter as someone trying to ‘rescue me’. This is where I really learned the term “frienemy”. Honestly, those that have gone – the losses – the real loss is theirs. I gained knowing who are true friends to my being.

The relationships with women in intimacy have been most challenging. Beyond being TG, there has been other complications (like other relationships), but the “TG thing” always has a large bearing. I no longer know what is truth – honesty. There always seemed to be some kind of deception when all that I offered was the bearing of an innermost past that I buried for 30 years behind facial hair and outdoor leadership skills teaching. Being TG and transitioning is hard in intimacy, few relationships of this kind survive the transition phase.

Honestly, the most damage to relationships has been caused by others telling my “TG story” to friends that we both know together. Once you share “the secret” (because that is what it is to everyone you talk to), they will want to tell others; I promise you that.

So, the best way to share your coming out is organize yourself, figure out who, when, where and what you want to say – and in what order. After that, it will change your life, just like your transition will.

I have no regrets after more than 3 years of coming out. I look forward to the continuing journey.

Excellent Story of M2F

I have been composing my own story for a long time. There has been snipetts of other peoples information that I have strongly approved of while researching for writing and understanding Gender.

The choice (or not) for moving into a new gender is not to be taken lightly. I am originally from Calgary, Alberta - here is the story of a women also from Canada.

I would like you to meet Megan, she is young (I suspect the median age for M2F SRS is commonly 36-38).

http://www.youtube.com/user/tenderkisses33

In Megan’s own words – I’m a 22 year old Trans Girl from Saskatchewan, Canada. I’m a post-op Male to Female transsexual (in technical terms) but I prefer to be considered a woman. I’m currently in the recovery stage from my Surgery. I had the GRS surgery with Dr. Chettawut in Thailand on July 2nd 2008 and I’m very happy with my results. I’m also orgasmic as I have experienced my very first (also very intense :3) orgasm on September 22nd 2008. I’m currently rethinking my goals for the future and I hope to continue my vlog here on YouTube.

From over a year ago – just on hormones. August 2007

Arrival in Thailand for “the operation”! July 2008

2 months after the SRS. September 2008

The choice to do this at what is a young age in North America is indeed brave. Many older M2F’s have commented that they wish they had done it while younger.

The Little t in GLBT or LGBT

That T at the end of GLBT (or LGBT) is for transgender. The other three letters stand for sexual orientation, but the last letter – the letter T is little or silent in most groups.

The goal for many M2F as well as F2M transgenders; transexuals is to become passable – then invisible. Ultimately, they disappear after their two to five year journey of transformation. Even if they have not taken the final step of SRS (Sex Reassessment Surgery), they can have their sex on identification papers changed to match with how they are presenting and living.

A well written article from another writer covers it here – By John Avarosis in:

Transgender News – How Did the T Get in LGBT

{In simpler times we were all gay. But then the word “gay” started to mean “gay men” more than women, so we switched to the more inclusive “gay and lesbian.” Bisexuals, who were only part-time gays, insisted that we add them too, so we did (not without some protest), and by the early 1990s we were the lesbian, gay and bisexual, or LGB community. Sometime in the late ’90s, a few gay rights groups and activists started using a new acronym, LGBT — adding T for transgender/transsexual. And that’s when today’s trouble started.}

Depending on the history told, the term GLBT came about; as each sub group was added, another letter was added after the general catch-all term- ”Gay”. The current LGBT is a ranking of a dangerous internal group sexism – The gay community begrudges the lesbian community for muscling their way over the ‘boys’; bisexuals are treated as wanna-be, part time, half hearted gays (and lesbians) and the transgender community is welcomed as neither gay nor lesbian by either of those two groups, misunderstood by the sexual bisexual explorers and generally segregated at any and all at LGBT group activities.

The confusion continues when an M2F is with a women Or an F2M is with a man) - they are not ‘normal’ according to society and they are not accepted as lesbians (or gay) in those communities. I do not want to beat this horse into the ground – and the ultimate responsibility for information lies in the hands of the transgendered within the GLBT groups. Like the ‘issues’ the gays and lesbians have to over come, information needs to be offered and then, understanding comes from the majority – the experiences of the gay community with the body of society are paralleled with the transgender community and the GLBT community.

What makes the T portion unique is both for what it is and what it is not. It is a subject that has varying degrees of meaning, from cross dressing to gender bending to post-op transexual. It is also a unique departure from the other three (GLB) because it is not about sexual orientation.

The T portion of the LGBT community has two duties:

One, to continue, in a public sense, to be vocal and united. That means, not dissappearing after your own personal journey is over.

Two, to bring awareness that the assessment of gender is broad reaching, universal and effects everyone else.

Gender – lite; making more sense of S.O., gender and the community

Here is Gender Lite – Making sense of it for the non-gender challenged! I always like seeing the words challenged or issue as they relate to gender; none of which could be further from truth. This will also contain a few of my own personal opinions…

SEX – Sexual Orientation – S.O.

Sexual Orientation

First. Lets separate SEX from this. Do you all know what sexxual (or sexyual) attraction is? Well, I am going to give you some new – but very old terms. Terms such as Homosexual, Heterosexual, Bisexual; and then we had to have Lesbian and Gay because they did not want to just be labeled homosexual; all of these are labels that wrap up the gender of both individual with their sexual orientation.The result with these now popular lables has been to define gender while defining sexual orientation. Let’s take a look at some other labels that are a bit older – and more useful.

These define WHO you are attracted to, in a specific way AND they do not define your gender!

Gynephilia (Gynophilia)
Gynephilia (or gynophilia) (From Greek gunē, “women,” + -philia, “love”) is the romantic and/or sexual attraction to adult females.

Androphilia
Androphilia (from Greek andro-, “male,” + -philia, “love”) is the romantic and/or sexual attraction to adult males.

Bisexuality is the unique term – it describes neither person’s gender and may be used openly by both men and women.

There are two main reasons why these terms have been used: to describe either the age or the sex/gender of the object of an individuals sexual orientation. Neither of these terms define the gender of the person who is defined by the definition, but rather, the object of their affection.

Simply you are attracted to either adult males and/or females (or none or both). If you fall outside of this, that is not where I can go.

Why go to the trouble of simplifying Sexual Orientation? Because, even in the GLBT community, there is a decided bit of prejudice against anything outside the “dyed in the wool” Lesbian or Gay labels. If you are a bisexual woman, you better say you are lesbian when you are surrounded by lesbians – otherwise, you might be rejected as indecisive or half hearted (and there will certainly be judgement).

And God help you with lesbian group (whom you most identify with) if you are a Bisexual woman (you had children with a man, right?) and you have chosen the partner to be a pre-op TG M2F – don’t they have a special group for you two? I mean, even with HRC, there is no movement to eliminate prejudice and judgement within the community – all work is placed on gaining acceptance of the community. Additionally, as of late, the HRC has left behind the transgender community in their quest to satisfy legislation against sexual orientation discrimination, solely.

More about the HRC here

A bit to ponder on about sexism – could you possibly be in LGBT and be sexist?? The next You Tube brings to light HRC’s departure to the transgender community – thank you Grishno for being so vocal.

 

Sexism is discrimination against people based on their sex or gender. Sexism can refer to three subtly different beliefs or attitudes:

• The belief that one sex is superior to the other.
• The belief that men and women are very different and that this should be strongly reflected in society, language, the right to have sex, and the law.
• It can also refer to simple hatred of men (misandry) or women (misogyny).

Make sure that if you are a supporter of the GLBT / LGBT communitythat you do not practice sexism or reverse sexism while preaching the desire of acceptance and tolerance!

Gender – Pink or Blue or ?

Pink Blue

Now the gender part. Why separate out the gender from sexual orientation? Well, if you are a M2F (male to female transgender) and you are attracted to a women – you can see that the labels of sexual orientation move around so much as to be dizzying.

For many people, the labels of Boy / Girl – Male / Female and Man / Women work well. Yet, in Homosexual relationships, it is not uncommon for partners to refer to each other as wife or husband; a gender label outside of the male / male or female / female relationship model.

Andro/Gyne labels – boy, male, man – girl, female, women…. should the labels for (fe)male include clothes and jobs? Should your hair length be a factor? Is it as simple as your gender is defined by just an XX or XY (that most people are never in a position to see)?

Darwin used labels well. He would see what the connections were when few others could see them. Perhaps we need a bit more Darwinian terminology…

Gyne butchias gynophilic — Andro transgio gynophilic — Gyne preandrophilic transgio fafafinian

Hmmm, those seem a bit complex – extra points if you can figure out the last one! Perhaps the simple thing to do here – and the most human;is to ask the person you don’t know about. If gender seems ‘ambiguous’ ask the person about it. Most people who are in any sort of gender position other than the simplest views of male / female, have explored within themselves as to what is gender.

Sorry – I really did not answer the gender questions for you. I will say this – gender is more than just XX / XY and whether or not you have a penis or vagina.

That stern looking women wearing a flannel shirt may be doing so for one of so many different options - examples include; a TG who is wanting to continue life more masculine, or a Butch, or a women who likes wearing her husbands clothes, or ? Ask when you don’t know. The greatest duty we have is to explain ourselves to others, in an open, honest way - when asked – no matter how we present. The greatest duty of those who do not understand – is to learn.

In tribal times, the reason you fought the neighbouring tribe was because you did not understand them – you thought they were hunting too close – that they believed something you did not understand – that they looked or acted different. All reasons that we attacked one another.

I am Sarah, a biological male who looks like a women who lives with a women and our children. I drive a car, walk upright with two legs, think, love, work. I like the label gender transformer – I have been reshaped with hormones; and yet I remain myself in so many ways. I don’t have a gender issue; do you?