Transgender Bashing

29 12 2008

I think I need to mention something about bashing.

I have been asked a number of times if I had experienced any form of ‘bashing’ or threats. I never really had much ‘bashing’, even when young. I considered this question of bashing seriously – and do not think that my friends asking me “so are you really keep it?” – for now (wink) – is bashing. Well, up until this month, not once did I ever really feel that (and this is my view) “someone was threatened enough to communicate that feeling to me by ‘bashing’ me”.

The first article I wrote about and posted to this weblog after an initial self introduction was an article about Lawrence King been killed (for reputably being either gay, or transgendered).

If you have been bashed and post your story to my comments, I will take a look at it and add it to this new posting called “Transgender Bashing“.

Here is my story.

I came into the breakfast cafe in Sultan, ready for a day of winter offroading. Walking in, I spotted my best friend (a mechanic and former club president); who greeted me warmly with a hug.. Although not ‘dressed up’, there has been enough changes in the past couple of years that my best friends mother and x-wife failed to recognize me! I wore just enough eye makeup that it was to run later in the 6 inches of snow that fell that day. I was then greeted warmly by the ‘old guard’ of the club while all the rest continued on with breakfast. Shortly before I was to head outside to the parked Land Rovers, I was ‘banged’ rather hard on the leg (similar to how you give someone a Charley Horse with your knee) by a fellow ‘walking by’. There was no words, just a hard look. That was it – the extent of my bashing.

A fellow member, who is gay, spoke to me later about a trip they had been on and this very same fellow (we will call; “wanker”) was extremely vocal about his negative opinions about gays and ‘that type of people. My gay friend told me he chose to remain closeted to avoid this fellows harshness.

Now keep in mind, since you don’t really know me, I have a reputation for toughness in the out-of-doors. I am not huge – unless you think 6’0 and 220 is huge. I used to be able to lift and install a 2.0l Volkswagen engine (complete and without help) and one time body built. No one ever hit me again after grade 9 – ever.

So later that day, we are standing around a campfire and this Wanker speaks up about his bit of outdoor experience. My best friend and my other friends listen to Wanker talk – and he looks on disparagingly towards me. I listened then one of my friends spoke – I offered my .02 as an outdoor professional, with a degree and 25 years + experience. Apparently Wanker’s ‘bash’ did not go unmissed by the X (and I would say her name, but to protect her, lets call her “Determined”) of my best friend; when she heard Wanker tell how ‘tough’ he was (at perhaps 165, 5’6″ and small man’s syndrome). The Determined then offered Wanker this story; some 5 years ago, while on a camping trip, 5 grown men were not enough to make me succumb.

Summary… Wanker was an overzealous search and rescue fellow with aspirations of sheriff hood. He later came around and talked to me while around the fire. He never could quite figure it out, even when talking to me (if you know what I mean) – the old friends all called me David and he kept seeing a girl with her lesbian partner. I never did really clear up my position with Wanker – nor did he seem open to any such clearing. I guess I will write an article later about

So what do I have to offer? Well, I have lost some muscle and stamina as well as I look like a tall girl. But to would be bashers out there, you never can tell if someone has Judo, fencing, karate, sword fighting, firearm and military combat training experience; was the sparing partner to my friend who attended the Western Canada Games, heavyweight wrestling… and I never assault anyone, ever – but I can defend myself.

I am not sure if I like what I wrote here – it opens me up for some negative opinions… we will see. I don’t hurt anyone, I never get angry, but I never allow myself to be really hurt. I guess that it was better than grabbing the Wanker by the throat and throwing him to the ground – which would have been decidedly unlady like.

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4 responses

29 12 2008
D.C. LaRocca

“I guess that it was better than grabbing the Wanker by the throat and throwing him to the ground – which would have been decidedly unlady like.”

Yes. But a slap in the face would preserve the feminine mystique. You remain dignified. I wouldn’t worry about “negative opinions.”

29 12 2008
Sarah Davidson

Thank you for the positive comments. In truth (and all who I know and those I work with know) I am not much for back stabbing or back handedness – I come at people facing them, honestly and if such communication is needed; head butting 🙂

10 01 2009
j'sin

it’s just sad that people can’t communicate over a silly issue like this.
this isn’t even full fledged sexuality, which i also believe is a silly thing to prejudice or argue over. i know this may be a bit insulting to you, or people who use issues like this as shields, or things to fight about, but really, could we focus on perhaps forgetting ignorant biases and just coming together to help one another? maybe make the world or our own cities better? for EVERYONE?

would i care if a homosexual (example only folks) handed me a check? of course not. should i be scared that someone radically different than me will change me, or the way i think? you betcha 🙂 and i am one to belive thats NOT a bad thing. you may occasionally find me berating people for negativity and/or being overly critical, but gender? sexuality? pfffht. theres a damned recession going on, get over it already.

11 01 2009
Sarah Davidson

Thank you for your honesty. However, it is neither silly (implying childlike and easily understood) – nor is it an issue (implying a ‘problem’ that can be removed with a solution). I thought gender was no big deal. The eye opener for me (perhaps because I spent 17 years teaching outdoor skills) was when a child kills another child because of this “silly issue”.
https://sarahlovesamy.wordpress.com/2008/07/22/young-gay-and-murdered/
comment on that article…

That is exactly how I got to this place myself – I still experience no harassment, in my job, in my personal life BUT I live pretty androgynous now. Most people only react negatively to situations when they are afraid. The interesting Freudian question is, what is that causes fear in us when exposed to other sexual behaviors or in my case, gender behaviors? No other animal seems to display this fear of sexuality. Fear of fire, fear of flood – animals can even detect micro tremors before an earthquake – and act with fear.

And – like you, I am a Canadian as well – you can use the word “Depression”, it’s ok and accurate. I like a spirited engagement. I have also been called a sexist, and a bigot for my own comments about minorities (including those “angry lesbians”, which by some observers, I am; the lesbian part, not the angry part) 🙂 – but hey, I am a foreign observer looking at the most complex culture in history. I have chosen to carve out my commentary writing about gender, not politics.

Americans are in denial of just how deep they are in debt as people and a country; and that their dollars lie in the hands of foreign powers they held sanctions against just a generation ago (anyone remember a tank and a student?) AND still the US maintains sanctions against Cuba (what, they don’t supply goods to Walmart? Maintain sanctions then!)…Just when will they be over that missile “issue”? You need to write about politics, perhaps… oh, but there are lots of writers making hot air in that large, impotent arena…

A better question – what brought you to this site (personal relevance?) and prompted you to take the time to comment?

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